Over YouWeather man said it's gonna snow,
By now I should be used to the cold.
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary.
It was only December,
I still remember the presents,the tree, you and me.
But you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.
Living alone, here in this place,
I think of you and I'm not afraid.
Your favorite records make me feel better,
Cause you sing along with every song.
I know you didn't mean to give them to me.
But you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.
It really sinks in, you know,
When I see it in stone
'Cause you went away
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.
It's funny how one song can mean so much. Have such a huge impact on your emotions, and can reduce you to tears in meer seconds. I try so hard to be strong for everyone all the time, and then this song comes on, and I lose it all. Even now I sit here just reading the lyrics, and it hits me so hard in my heart that tears are streaming down my face. Always so careful though to never let anyone see them. I'm not going to ever get over you. I won't ever be ok. I'll put a smile on my face though, and go on the best I can, and not show everyone how much it still hurts every single day. I'll listen to others' problems, and help in anyway I can knowing that I'll never be whole. I'll look at your neice everyday, and hurt over the fact that she'll never know you, but be grateful that you brought her, and her dad to me. Cuz deep down I know it was you that brought them both to me when I needed them most. Even when your not here, you're still taking care of me.
This week has been absolute shit! I try to do something good to turn it around, and its still shit. Today is Thursday, and every single day this week has been crap! That's 4 days that feels like the world has it out for me. I know of course that it's just life, and I'll get through this, and be fine. Just sucks right now in the present having to deal with it all. I also know I'm being emotional, but sometimes it's hard to be any other way. The only thing keeping me going, beside my beautiful daughter & her amazing dad, is that it is almost the weekend!!! And I have a date on Saturday to go shopping with a great friend :) I'm really looking forward to it :)
Ok now that I've sat here and cried, blubbered, and tried to make everyone feel sorry for me I'm going to go for now. Honestly though, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just needed to get my emotions out. Whether anyone actually reads this or not doesn't matter. Just getting them outta my head, and heart has helped a lot. I feel like a weight has been lifted some. Maybe not a lot, but right now I'll take anything.
