Out of sorts

I've felt so weird lately. Not sleeping well, and when I do sleep, having bad/weird dreams. I have weird thoughts throughout the day.

What do you do when all you can think about is how your husband is going to be taken from you one day, and you'll be left alone once again. And this time raising a daughter on your own. For 3 days a couple weeks ago, I dealt with those thoughts, and the anxiety that came with it. Constantly worrying if the reason I wasn't hearing from him is because something had happened.

I seriously don't know what's going on with me, or what's wrong with me. Who does that?? Who has those thoughts on a daily basis for that long??  Then there's times when I think it about Shawna. That's not near as often, and most of the time I won't even let my mind go there. I tell myself that Shawn won't let God do that to me. I just hope I'm right.

I know that I need to start getting out, and doing more. Just so hard when I have no friends. Seems like I have no friends anymore at all. And, of course, the couple I do have live far away. The one friend I do have here is pregnant & having a hell of a time with it, so I try to leave her be.

I need to get away........